When I first made contact with the Way2 Community (on the 3rd April last year) I described my sense of calling as such: “I am at a stage in my life where I feel strongly that I am called to ordained ministry, and wish to do something proactive about this calling! As I finish off my degree and prepare to graduate this July, I feel that the doors are open for me to seize any opportunity I can to explore what I believe God is calling me to.” Now, 9 months on, I reflect on this sense of calling and how it has developed.
So, am I still “at a stage in my life where I feel strongly that I am called to ordained ministry, and wish to do something proactive about this calling?” In short, yes! Nine months ago my sense of calling was to ordained ministry as a general concept, having felt for a number of years that I was called to be a priest but not having considered what this might look like after I was (potentially, and God-willing) ordained. However, this sense of calling has developed as I – during the course of my internship so far – have had a great number of experiences, learnt more about myself and innumerable other things, and reflected on how my calling fits in to what I have done and learnt. In my regular chats with Tess, our Warden, I am asked “how is your sense of vocation?” At first, this seemed a very strange question to me because my answer was “the same as it was before!” But in being asked this question, I have found myself thinking about it on occasion, asking myself “is my sense of vocation the same as it was last week/last month/yesterday/6 months ago?” and have – to my surprise, at first – found that the answer is no longer “the same as it was before” but “it has developed from what I thought it was last week/last month/yesterday/6 months ago.” One way in which it has developed has been in regards to the area of ministry I feel called to. When I first contacted the Way2 Community, I felt called to the role of priest and had a particular interest in rural ministry, so naturally thought that I must be called to be a vicar in a rural parish. Now, my sense of calling is not just to some vague notion of one day being ‘The Priest’ or ‘A Vicar’, instead I have been able to pinpoint certain elements of my calling and feel confident in saying that my calling is to ordained parish ministry, and to identify areas of priestly ministry that I both feel particularly called to and others that I do not. I have realised the need to look beyond ordination as an ‘end goal’, viewing it instead as a step along the path of my future ministry. As for the doing something proactive about this calling, that I have taken up this internship and continue to throw myself into every available opportunity is answer enough!