Living in community: expectations vs. reality

Not too long ago, I was sat in my home in Somerset looking through this website and reading this blog, wondering what life in the Way2 Community was like. Do the interns really (I mean, really) say Morning Prayer at 8am every day? Do they rush around from one meeting to another? Do they get thrown in to preaching in their churches straight away? Do they ever get any time to themselves away from their housemates? I thought that it would be good to use this blog post to reflect on what my expectations were prior to starting the internship in comparison to what life in community is actually like.

Question 1: Do the interns really (I mean, really) say Morning Prayer at 8am every day?

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Candlelit Evening Prayer in our community chapel.

Answer: yes… and no!  We do say Morning Prayer at 8am five days a week, and at 8:30am on the days when we are joined by Tess, Melissa and others. When I first heard that this was a part of the internship, I wondered how I would cope with waking up before 8am every day, but in reality I have found myself adjusting to this quite easily (with the help of a mug of coffee beside me in the chapel…!) We each cope in different ways – the early birds amongst us like to be in bed by 10:30pm, whereas our night owls go to bed later and nap during the day! We all feel that maintaining a regular schedule of communal prayer is a vital part of community life, and so we make the effort to be in the chapel for 8 o’clock each morning (even if our minds are still asleep in our beds upstairs!)

Question 2: Do they rush around from one meeting to another?

Answer: When reading the community blog, I got the impression of the then-current interns rushing around from one meeting to another – meetings with clergy, DDOs, wardens, parishioners and so on. But in reality, there aren’t as many meetings as I thought! We have individual meetings with Tess once a fortnight, and I personally meet with my supervising incumbent (the priest whose parish I am placed in) once a fortnight, sit in on team meetings with the clergy team of my placement parishes once a week, and have only met with the DDO once so far! It varies week by week, but I feel that I spend much more of my time ‘doing stuff’ then sitting in meetings.

Question 3: Do they get thrown in to preaching in their churches straight away?

Answer: No! I have been with my placement churches for 8 weeks now and, after discussion with my supervising incumbent, have agreed that preaching is something to focus on in the future, but not a priority for now.

Question 4: Do they ever get any time to themselves away from their housemates?

Answer: This was the question that was most on my mind until the day that I moved in to the community house. I am an introvert, which means that I need time alone in order to regain my energy and be able to enjoy spending time with others. I was worried that living in community might mean that the only time I get to myself is when I go to bed, a thought that horrified my highly-introverted self (how on earth would I cope with constant socialising?!) But I have found that I have plenty of time to myself, enough for me to relax and re-energise ready for the next event/day. After dinner we often head straight for our own rooms (especially after we’ve had a long and tiring day) which is when I like to catch up on TV shows, and during the day if we are not on a placement we have time to spend preparing for/writing essays for the discernment process or taking some free time to relax (I like to spend free moments during the day reading novels). I also find time to myself between my commitments during the day – whether in the house or out and about. But time alone is always balanced with time spent together as a community – whether that be in Morning and Evening Prayer, at mealtimes, or in time set aside to socialise together. And despite the fact that I definitely need ‘me time’, I also find the time spent together as a community vital for both my own well-being and for our ability to live together effectively. I am learning to appreciate board games (even if I don’t love them yet!), found great value in the day we spent arranging our bookshelves together, and really enjoyed our trip to Chapel Porth a few weeks ago. So for an introvert such as myself, community life is not as terrifying a thought as it might seem!

 

22549754_824944851018384_4696094607150104995_nAnd a final thought that I would say is critically important for anyone wondering what life in the Way2 Community is like: we drink a lot of tea (and coffee!) Despite having a proportion of mugs to community members and wardens of at least 3:1, we have been known to run a dishwasher cycle early because we have used up all of our mugs! Life in community is challenging but hugely beneficial, structured but with lots of flexibility, and centred around three communal activities: prayer, meals, and hot drinks!

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